Simple Strategies for Supporting Students with Challenging Histories

Jon Barberio, MA, LPCA — Edited by Richard Van Acker, EdD — 5 minute read
While the title is “Supporting Students with Challenging Histories,” the reality for many educators is that the history isn’t that long ago for children who have suffered distressing experiences. In some cases, it may only have been a few hours ago. In my line of work, I have learned that for something to be internalized as a distressing event, three components are required:

  1. Life-threatening event(s), or one that is perceived as life-threatening

  2. Helplessness over the situation or loss of control

  3. Absence of a safe, caring, non-judgmental support system after the event occurs

If the third part of this “triangle” is not met and they DO have a supportive environment, children have an amazing resilience to heal from the most egregious of experiences. If indeed they have symptoms of PTSD, likely they are still not a part of a loving, supportive, and empathetic family system, and the challenge is still being experienced.

Our bodies are programmed to keep us safe, and when we experience a scary event, it engrains the memory in our bodies in an attempt to prevent it from happening again. Our lower-level brain functioning takes control, while upper-level functions, such as memory, self-control, and self-regulation, are pushed to the side, and the amygdala writes in permanent marker, “Never Again,” across the mind and body. The child may try to move on, but, as Dr. Van Der Kolk aptly puts it, “the body keeps the score.” It never forgets, it never relaxes.

Students with challenging histories will present one of two symptoms: hyper or hypo arousal. You will see this as ADHD or depression; volatile reactions or aloofness, and being easily triggered or absent-minded. The flight, fight, freeze, or fawn response will be their default reaction. Paying attention in class, engaging classmates, and self-regulating during tests… will not be.

So, what can you, as an educator, do to help? Well, a lot actually. In an ideal world, you would know the students with multiple adverse childhood experiences, and if you expect one child may have had a tough upbringing, ask a counselor to do an assessment; it only takes us 15 minutes. However, you don’t always know who these students are, and that’s okay. These practical things you can do will be helpful no matter what they're going through.

The foundation for working with students with a challenging history is remembering the three “R’s”: rhythm, regulation, and relationships.

The foundation for working with students with a challenging history is remembering the three “R’s”: rhythm, regulation, and relationships.
Jon Barberio, MA, LPCA
Distressing memories are “stored” in the lower levels of the brain. This part of the brain is responsible for the most basic functions, including breathing, heartbeat, and self-regulation. This is the part of the brain we MUST engage with if we are to help students with difficulties.



Predictable rhythms become ingrained in students, leading them to feel safe and calm. Even changing seating arrangements may send a 6th grader into a slight fight or flight response because their brain has already activated their sympathetic nervous system (SNS), and the frontal cortex (self-awareness, decision making) is offline. Their bodies are telling them, “Run! Danger!” so they sit in their seats fidgeting, not paying attention, and interrupting due to the influx of adrenaline that they don’t even notice.

Whenever possible, strive to keep stressors predictable and have clear time limits. An example would be letting these students take ownership of their class presentations; allow them to choose when they present, have a fidget toy, sit in your chair and rock, or focus solely on you, smiling at them from the back of the classroom. Be mindful that their brains are subconsciously scanning for threats, and any unforeseen change that necessitates a degree of discomfort will be perceived as an invisible threat.

Regulation is our ability to align ourselves with our environment. Students with distressing experiences do not have the ability to regulate themselves like others do; remember, their SNS is overstimulated.

Teaching self-regulatory skills to these students is a wonderful tool for helping them to self-soothe in a healthy way. These mindfulness activities will benefit the whole class- even you!

My favorite is playing a video from YouTube that teaches full-body relaxation. Dr. Shauna Shapiro has some great options. Deep breathing training is a staple with every one of these clients I see; they get taught this in the very first session. Box breathing is great, but I prefer what I call the 5-2-7 breathing technique. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, and breathe out for 7 seconds. The exact time isn’t important; I suggest they find their own time frame that feels comfortable, which also gives them more ownership over their self-regulatory ability. The key here is to exhale more slowly and deeply than you inhale. This slows norepinephrine levels (the stress hormones) and lowers heart rate.

Grounding with a mint is also a great technique. Have students suck a peppermint and ask them to immerse themselves in the sensation: is it hot or cold? Can you make the flavor change? Can you feel the sensation going to your lungs? If it had a color as you breathe out, what would it be? Is it shrinking? As they do this, I encourage them to scan their body for any tense muscles, starting at their toes and going to the forehead, relaxing any muscle they can, letting their body “melt” off their skeleton.

The last is the most important: Relationship. Being a safe person who engages students where they are and names their pain is paramount in helping and healing students with a challenging past. Remember, these children can’t regulate themselves, so it is your job to be the non-anxious presence in their classroom world. Raising your voice or even standing above eye level when correcting can set off alarms. Again, they are scanning for threats 24/7.

As much as you feel comfortable, help students name what they may be feeling in a curious, non-judgmental manner. “It looks like you are trying really hard, and it’s not coming together. I bet that’s frustrating. Take a second to do some breathing exercises and circle back when you’re ready.”

If you are frustrated with your students, I promise you, they 100% know it. Children and young adults with a distressing history are smarter than you or me. They can’t name how they feel; they just know something is off, the alarm bells sound, and their bodies either shut down or go on high alert. Knowing someone is there for them and really cares about them is a balm to a broken heart.

Knowing someone is there for them and really cares about them is a balm to a broken heart.
Jon Barberio, MA, LPCA
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Thank you so much for caring. It is estimated that 1 in 5 students has a distressing event(s) in their history. Modern research and experience have taught me that meaningful relationships where someone is seen, known, connected, and loved are the best ways to treat youths with distressing histories. While the task may seem daunting, I want to leave you with this: I had worked with a wonderful 10-year-old little boy with EXTENSIVE challenges in his past for 6 months, and we were making good but slow progress. He switched classrooms and thus teachers, and his progress grew exponentially. His new teacher was calm and compassionate and took time to attune to his emotions. She would get at his eye level to correct him with a hand on his shoulder. In two months, he made more progress than in 6 with me. That teacher forever changed his life.
Modern research and experience have taught me that meaningful relationships where someone is seen, known, connected, and loved are the best ways to treat youths with distressing histories.
Jon Barberio, MA, LPCA
written by

Jon Barberio

Jon Barberio works with clients to explore their stories and the narratives others have written for them that they no longer wish to own while helping change unhealthy and untrue thoughts and beliefs that lead to negative experiences. He loves teaching families to be curious about the systems they are a part of and how they each affect each other because no one person is “the problem.” Outside of his professional work, he loves reading fiction, playing any competitive sport, playing board games, having thought-provoking conversations by a fire, and would own way too many project cars if he could. Jonathon is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate with his Bachelors in Psychology and Theology, Masters in Clinical Counseling, and has certifications in rational emotive behavioral therapy, cognitive process therapy, and behavioral therapy for those struggling with challenging experiences.

EDITED BY DR. RICHARD VAN ACKER

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