HIGH-LEVERAGE PRACTICES IN Self-contained EBD and Alternative Education CLASSROOMS

Collaborating for Consistency:
Joining Forces with Parents
for Well-Rounded Services

Episode Description

Join Heather Volchko and guest Jon Barberio as they dive into the real work of collaborating with families to support student learning and secure needed services. They unpack how to start conversations in a way that invites parents in as partners, even when school and home expectations don’t quite match. You’ll hear stories of navigating misunderstandings, aligning on shared goals, and bringing students into the process to boost ownership and motivation. From building trust through genuine care to celebrating successes—not just addressing challenges—Heather and Jon share practical strategies that strengthen school–family partnerships. It’s a conversation about empathy, openness, and keeping students at the center of every decision.

Key Points and Takeaways

  • Effective collaboration with families requires teachers to start with an open, non-judgmental dialogue, inviting parents to share their insights and solutions.
  • Aligning educational goals between home and school is essential to support students effectively, especially when parents and educators initially have different priorities.
  • Involving students in discussions about their education increases their engagement and helps them learn autonomy skills.
  • Teachers should possess interpersonal awareness and respect family dynamics to build trust and facilitate authentic partnerships.
  • A successful teacher-family relationship includes easily-accessed communication, professional growth, shared decision-making, and support.
Podcast Guest

Jonathon Barberio, MA, LPCA

Jon Barberio works with clients to explore their stories and the narratives others have written for them that they no longer wish to own while helping change unhealthy and untrue thoughts and beliefs that lead to negative experiences. He loves teaching families to be curious about the systems they are a part of and how they each affect each other because no one person is “the problem.” Outside of his professional work, he loves reading fiction, playing any competitive sport, playing board games, having thought-provoking conversations by a fire, and would own way too many project cars if he could. Jonathon is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate with his Bachelors in Psychology and Theology, Masters in Clinical Counseling, and has certifications in rational emotive behavioral therapy, cognitive process therapy, and behavioral therapy for those struggling with challenging experiences.
Looking for CEUs? Click "01 | Listen" below!

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High-Leverage Practice #3:
Collaborate with families to support student learning and secure needed services.
Teachers collaborate with families about individual children's needs, goals, programs, and progress over time and ensure families are informed about their rights as well as about special education processes like IEPs and IFSPs. Teachers should respectfully and effectively communicate, considering the background, financial circumstances, language, culture, and priorities of the family. Teachers work to secure resources to help students meet instructional, behavioral, social, and transition goals. In building positive relationships with students, teachers encourage students to self-advocate with the goal of fostering self-determination over time. Teachers also work with families to stand up for themselves and support their children's learning.
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If teachers don't genuinely care about the students, I don't think anything else afterwards really matters.

Jon Barberio

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Host: Heather Volchko

Guest: Jon Barberio

This week, we're talking about high-leverage practice number three: collaborate with families to support student learning and secure needed services. So this week, Jon does this, you do this, like you are in the middle of these conversations with families, with individuals on the regular. What is this?

I start with. And this is not how I would word it, but starting with let's solve a problem, an invitation to solve a problem.

Thank you.

Rather than, you know, saying, Hey, I see this in your child, what's going on? That’s instantly going to put any parent on the defensive. Even if they know their kid is, you know, going through a rough patch, you're going to put them having to defend the child. So I encourage teachers, and if I ever get to be in the room, parents as well, to say, Hey, I'm struggling to get Tommy to sit down when we do whatever.

Are you having this problem at home? How does it work for you? And then just inviting the parents to be experts, to be the guides, because they want what's best for Tommy. So that's where I start.

I like how you're just calling out like, here's what I'm noticing. There's no judgment in that. It's just, this is my observation, this is what I'm seeing. Can you help me make sense of that?

Yeah.

And that's such an open invitation to just engage in that conversation. You're not already making judgment calls. It's more like I'm noticing this. Any ideas? Can you help me make sense of it? Any thoughts, ideas, recommendations, suggestions? Like that's so open-handed.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think, I think it's easy for teachers who, you know, have had dozens, hundreds, thousands of kids in their classroom to kind of have an idea of what really needs to happen.

Yeah.

And it would be so easy, you know, if we could just do xyz. But if you're not collaborating with the parents, if they're doing one thing at home and something completely different in the classroom, well, we're going to have a problem. Right. And unfortunately, little Timmy is going to be the one who has to suffer for it.

So I'm wondering if, kind of as, as we're walking into these conversations open-handedly, like you just said, I think some professionals already kind of know.

Yeah.

How, as a professional, can I keep my thoughts in check to engage in that collaboration in a genuine manner?

Yeah, that's a good question. I guess maybe it starts with just what's the ultimate goal? Like maybe the ultimate goal is to get, you know, a student to behave better. And as far as keeping hands to yourself in lower grades or middle school, maybe to do homework on time, you know, the teacher knows, okay, take away the cell phone, take away the games, like easy, like that's what we know that. But in telling a parent, hey, I've seen this work in the past.

Again, you're telling them how to parent. And even if you're doing it the most gentle way, it's going to be hard for anyone to receive that as, oh, right, I'm not doing good. You know more about my kid than I do. That's what's going to be the internal thing. And so I think just knowing what's the ultimate goal? Well, we want him to do homework on time. Well, how do we do that? Well, we ask the parents, hey, what has worked for you? What do you think?

Knowing full well where we want to steer that conversation. But again, I think we already said it. If the parents aren't on board, we're not going to get what we want anyway. Right. So just having that goal, that's kind of what we're heading towards, of just collaboration.

Yeah. I think I'm hearing kind of two sides of what you're saying. One is if the professionals and the families are on the same page, there's kind of an assumed similar goal. And so we can just walk in with noticings and have an open-handed collaboration to try to figure out some strategies or direction, you know, ways to get to that goal that we are holding collectively. But I'm also hearing you talk about, you know, sometimes we're not on the same page or we don't have the same, you know, goals or even like it doesn't have to be that way or why does it have to be that way? And there's some of that, like, I wouldn't say like dissension, but just even sometimes I find it's just like a misunderstanding. Like, people aren't understanding, like the professionals aren't understanding a home context, or families aren't understanding a school context. And so it's just a misinterpretation.

How do you walk that?

So how do we figure out basically how to get on the same page, essentially?

Yeah, I think if we're gonna truly, genuinely engage our families, it's beautiful when we're all on the same page and we're kind of moving in the same direction. We can work together to figure out how, but how do we walk through those moments where we're genuinely interested in engaging our families and trying to be like partners in solution seeking, but we're not seeing the situation in the same way or we don't have the same expectations or there's some, something amiss there that we're not actually moving in that similar direction.

Yeah. Two things come to mind on that. And actually, something that happened with us personally with our little one. We would do homeschooling for one of our kids, and he would help his brother. They would do it together, which we encouraged. We're thinking like, hey, you help little brother do his work, you all work together. And so the teacher came to us and said, Hey, your son is always kind of talking and doing work with other kids when they're supposed to be doing work on their own.

So the teacher's seeing this as my son being disruptive. We're seeing it as, in our context, he's actually being helpful. So as a parent, if the teacher was come to me and said, hey, your, your son is really disruptive in class, he's, he's, he won't, he keeps messing with other people's work, I'm going to hear, wait a minute, he's helping and you're telling him no. And even as a professional in this field, quote unquote, I'm automatically going to be in a different place.

But when you come, I guess the second part is going back to just having goals. You know, if the goal for my son was to do his individual learning by himself, for the teacher to say, Hey, we have to get him to do this, I need y'all to work on this. Well, we have different goals. Right. Our goal was to collaborate and help our family. But when the teacher says, Well, we need him to do this work, how could we do that?

Well, now I can say, oh, okay, well, he's actually doing this. And so we will change that at home. But if the goal is to just get the kid to do this thing that I'm not really on board with. Right. I'm going to come at it completely different.

Yeah. And that's a really cool example because you're actually talking about school in two contexts. Right? Like you're talking about their school in that collective situation. There's also school in that home situation. And so many of our students in public schools don't have that experience. If anything, think they may have like an after-school program or something local, either, like mentoring something. Right. Like that would be kind of the, the closest parallel to the school outside of school, if you will.

And so a lot of times, I know I'm engaging in conversations with parents where they're like, well, that's not even useful. And I had multiple high school students, especially through the pandemic era, where a lot of them were, you know, landing jobs and being the breadwinner for their family as their parents were being, you know, laid off or furloughed, or what have you. In high schools, we commonly will say, You know, well, in the real world, or when you get a job, or with your boss, or in college, or, you know, all of these, like, looming future types of things. Well, all of a sudden, they already had those experiences, and they were coming back and calling the staff's bluff and being like, well, I have a boss now, and they don't care.

Right. And so now it's like, well, we've got this expectation, and we're saying, because when it becomes applicable, but then what if it isn't? Right. Like, at that point, in my opinion, like, as professionals, well, maybe we need to reconsider what our context is and what those expectations are and how we are setting them up for, you know, whatever is next. If that's, you know, preschool setting for elementary or elementary, you know, the whole way through the education process, or even then, you know, post-secondary, as they're out and, you know, engaging in whatever is next for them.

I think sometimes, as professionals, we think we always have the goal and that that goal is the accurate and right goal. But sometimes, in my opinion, we can kind of engage with families and especially with our students to figure out, you know, is that even a goal that we should be moving toward? And part of that collaboration is sort of uncovering the fact that, oh, maybe I should see this differently.

Yeah. And I realized I didn't even touch on something really important earlier, and that was collaboration with the student. I mean, if you know, there are so many cases where parents let a 12, 13, 14-year-old kind of just do their homework.

Yeah.

You know, homework's on computers nowadays. What else is on computers? Call of Duty,

Everything.

Yeah. And so. Well, yeah, you can't sit a kid down and say, Hey, I want you to do algebra, or go on Facebook. Simply don't have the tools for that to get technical. Their frontal cortex hasn't fully developed. And so I like to bring the students along and say, Hey, homework has to be done. That's a thing.

What would you? I always ask them, What would you like your rewards to be for if you do this? And what would you like the consequences to be? And that way, it's not punishment anymore. It's, hey, man, I'm Sorry you chose not to do this. So we're going to put the Xbox away today and just help the student understand, you know, even on your, you know, to what you said, if they have a job, what does it matter?

And if we're trying to get a student to pass when he's already making $20,000 a year with no bills, that's going to be a hard sell, right? Until we kind of get them on board and kind of figure out, like, well, what are we really doing here?

So I know we've been talking about, you know, collaborating with families and how we can engage in that when we're on the same page, when we're not on the same page, and how we kind of include the students in that conversation. I'm sure in your line of work, you have either personally had the internal battle of deferring to prefer maybe not to collaborate and be more of a different style of interaction, or you've interacted with folks who think that they're being supportive and collaborative, but they're not actually collaborating.

Can you give me some examples of what? Maybe people think that they're being collaborative with families, but maybe they're not. Actually.

If you don't genuinely. If teachers don't generally care about the students, I don't think anything else afterwards really matters. I mean, we have those trouble students who we just. I've been in meetings where the teachers are. Just fix them. Students know that parents are going to pick up on that, too. So I think it just starts with when you talk about collaboration, just you genuinely care about the student. 

And that is a great place to start because when you care, you're then curious, right? It's not about, Why aren't you doing this? What's wrong? Like every other yaddy, it's not all that. It's, hey, can I help? What's going on? Let me know. More kids pick up on that. I've dealt with a lot of students with adverse experiences growing up, and I know they won't remember a single thing that they were taught by their teachers. But when they know the teachers care, and when the families know the teachers care, they are on board with anything.

I think I've talked about this before. I had worked with one student for almost six months. We just could not get him to quit throwing tantrums, to quit talking, and touching other kids just playfully. We switched classrooms. All this teacher did was anytime they corrected, they would get down to eye level, put a hand on the shoulder. Hey, bud, you're being a little wiggly right now. You okay? And in two months, everything changed.

And the parents were way more willing to listen, Hey, I'm sending this work home. I need this done. Parents are like, yep, got it, let's do it. And just having that little change of a teacher who just genuinely loved this little one made a huge difference for the family. And this was already a family who was trying. They were already on board with the other teachers. But when the teacher's calling, saying, Hey, your kid's doing this, your kid's doing this, your kid's doing this, it's hard for the parents as well.

Yeah. I mean, that's something we talk about is like, you should not only be calling for negatives, you know, it's just like our students were trying to notice what they're doing. Well, we should also be communicating that back to our families. And if we're saying like, hey, surprise, I know it's been rough, go. But check this out, right? Like, the number of times that I've, you know, walked students down to the office where they think they're in their, that they're in trouble. Right. And then we're like, hey, let's call your mom real quick.

Hey, just want to let you know they just kicked butt on this activity, or they collaborated really well with this other peer, and they're like, wait, what? Like, I thought I was going to have to pick them up, you know, like those, those kinds of things. But I think that truly coming from that genuine care, like, do I hold an honest, caring compassion for this student even though they may be driving me nuts and they're super frustrating and not doing what I need them to do and not, you know, everything I'm trying isn't working? Right.

Can I still choose to see them in a way that is going to let me open-handedly walk in and be an honest collaborator with whoever is at the table?

Yeah. And every parent and every teacher I've ever talked to, if I ask, can you name that one teacher who you knew cared, and I asked, what did they teach you? They don't remember the thing that they were taught. They just remember that they were cared for, and that's what stuck out.

Absolutely. Well, thank you. I know in your line of work, you are constantly interacting with all different types of folks at the table. So I'm really thankful that you were able to engage in this conversation with me about collaborating with our families to support our students.

Absolutely. Thanks, Heather.

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If the parents aren't on board, we're not going to get what we want anyway.

Jon Barberio

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Collaborating with families to shape educational decisions, a principle firmly rooted in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), is a crucial aspect of our work. As highlighted by Turnbull, Stowe, and Huerta, IDEA underscores the importance of family involvement by granting parents specific rights to participate as equal members of the IEP team. This involvement spans evaluation, placement, and the broader spectrum of special education services.

But how do we make this collaboration effective? It’s all about partnership. Turnbull and colleagues describe family–professional partnerships as a dynamic relationship where families—and not just parents—join forces with professionals. Together, they leverage each other’s expertise and resources to make decisions that benefit students directly and support families and educators indirectly.

To truly build these collaborative relationships, we need to adhere to seven key principles of effective partnerships:

  1. Communication: Teachers and families should engage in open, honest dialogue, using communication methods that suit the family’s comfort level.

  2. Professional Competence: Educators must be highly qualified and continuously strive to grow, setting and communicating high expectations for both students and families.

  3. Respect: Treat families with dignity, honor their cultural backgrounds, and affirm their strengths.

  4. Commitment: Go beyond the call of duty to be available, consistent, and dedicated to students' success.

  5. Equality: Recognize and value each team member’s strengths, share power equitably, and focus on a collaborative approach.

  6. Advocacy: Work together with families to find the best solutions for students, ensuring that the student’s needs are the central focus.

  7. Trust: Build and maintain reliability, acting in the student’s best interest while sharing your vision and actions transparently with families.

Incorporating these principles not only strengthens our partnerships with families but also enhances the overall educational experience for students. By fostering effective collaboration, we are setting the stage for success in every aspect of our students' educational journeys.

The sacred trust between special educators and the families of students with disabilities is vital. This relationship is not just important—it's foundational, and it must be carefully nurtured and protected.


Families are often the experts on their children, offering insights that schools simply cannot obtain on their own. To truly understand and support our students, we must ensure that communication between home and school remains open, positive, and respectful. Both the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and the Every Student Succeeds Act (ESSA) emphasize the importance of this collaboration.


When special educators effectively partner with families, they position themselves to lead productive meetings (HLP 2) and work seamlessly with colleagues to implement a strong Individualized Education Program (IEP) (HLP 1). This collaboration also plays a crucial role in shaping long- and short-term goals (HLP 11) and in identifying the supports and practices needed within the social, behavioral, and instructional domains.


In essence, when we build and maintain these strong partnerships with families, we not only enrich our understanding of our students but also enhance our ability to create and execute effective educational plans. This collaborative approach is key to ensuring that every student receives the support they need to thrive.


Teachers who effectively collaborate with families promote positive interactions between educators and families and use effective practices for communicating with families.


Let’s talk about what makes a teacher not just effective, but exceptional when it comes to collaborating with families. When teachers excel in these partnerships, they foster positive interactions that benefit both educators and families.


Here’s how they do it:


  • Open and Honest Communication: They engage in transparent, honest dialogues with families, choosing communication methods that work best for both sides. This ensures everyone is on the same page.

  • Professional Expertise and Growth: These teachers are not only highly knowledgeable in their field but also committed to ongoing professional development. They set and communicate high expectations for both their students and their families.

  • Respect and Affirmation: They treat families with the utmost dignity, honor cultural diversity, and recognize and affirm each family's strengths.

  • Commitment Beyond the Basics: They are available, consistent, and willing to go above and beyond what’s expected to support their students and families.

  • Shared Power and Teamwork: They acknowledge the strengths of every team member, share decision-making power with families, and focus on collaborative efforts to achieve the best outcomes.

  • Reliability and Advocacy: They are dependable, always acting in the best interest of their students, and openly sharing their vision and actions with families.


These practices not only build strong, collaborative relationships but also create a supportive environment where both educators and families work together to ensure the success of every student.


Let’s take a look at the effective practices for communicating with families, a crucial element in fostering strong educational partnerships. Here’s how you can ensure your communication is impactful and inclusive:


  • Accessible Language and Format: Always use language and formats that are accessible to the family. This means considering their preferred languages and communication styles to ensure clarity and understanding.

  • Face-to-Face Interactions: Engage with families through planned face-to-face meetings, whether they're formal settings like IEP meetings or informal gatherings such as open houses and school events. These interactions help build personal connections and trust.

  • Written and Digital Communication: Leverage written and digital channels to keep families informed. This includes sharing updates on school activities, outlining parent and student rights and responsibilities, and providing insights into student progress.

  • Phone Calls: Use phone calls as needed to discuss students' strengths, explore supports or resources, and build a more personal rapport with families.

  • Online Resources: Make use of course management systems, school websites, and classroom blogs or webpages to share relevant information and resources with families, ensuring they have access to the support they need.


By employing these effective communication practices, we can create a more collaborative and supportive environment that benefits both students and their families.


But it’s not all on teachers to effectively collaborate with the families of their students. Here are some key tips for school leaders to effectively support teachers in their interactions with families from diverse cultural backgrounds:


  • Assess Skills and Comfort Levels: Begin by evaluating teachers’ skills and comfort levels when working with families from various cultural backgrounds. Understanding where they stand helps in tailoring support to meet their needs.

  • Provide Cultural Sensitivity Training: Equip educators with the knowledge and specific practices needed for cultural sensitivity. This includes offering instruction on how to navigate and respect cultural differences in their interactions with families.

  • Offer Constructive Feedback: Regularly provide feedback on teachers’ performance in this area. Alongside feedback, offer pointers and opportunities for professional development to address any skills or areas needing improvement.

  • Facilitate Observations: For those who might feel less confident, arrange opportunities to observe effective models of interactions with culturally and linguistically diverse families. Seeing successful practices in action can be incredibly valuable.

  • Support with Communication Tools: Ensure teachers have the necessary training, resources, and support for using school websites, course management systems, and other communication platforms. This will help them effectively engage with families and share important information.


By implementing these strategies, school leaders can significantly enhance their teachers' ability to connect with and support families from diverse cultural backgrounds, ultimately fostering a more inclusive and effective educational environment.


Research consistently shows that when we embrace effective partnership principles, the benefits extend far beyond just improved teacher-family relationships and shared decision-making. These principles lead to positive outcomes both at the child level and within families.


A well-established set of principles guides these successful partnerships, focusing on creating trust through:

  • Communication: Engaging in open, honest dialogues.

  • Professional Competence: Demonstrating expertise and ongoing growth.

  • Respect: Honoring cultural diversity and valuing each individual.

  • Commitment: Going above and beyond in support.

  • Equality: Sharing power and working together collaboratively.

  • Advocacy: Focusing on finding the best solutions for students.

As we implement these principles, it’s crucial to honor and respect cultural diversity and varying communication styles. By doing so, we create a foundation for meaningful and effective collaboration that benefits everyone involved.

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